QiGong Class Changed Us

I attended a QiGong class on March 22.  The teacher was a Master of QiGong with Chinese family lineage going back about five thousand years.  He spoke through a translator.  Although I found I could ‘hear’ another lecture by just observing him.  I expected to be influenced by being in his presence for 7 hours but did not know what the longer term effects would be.

I tolerated the class much better than expected.  I chose to sit instead of standing and the teacher was fine with my choice.  The majority of the class was learning active movements of Qi as we learned to interact with The Universe differently.  But I did not feel overly tired until the last hour.  For the 4 days after the class, I had no physical pain.  About 10 days after the class, my right side brain pain moved to the left side in a different pattern.  I also am experiencing less dissociative amnesia.

Curt does energy work on me weekly.  He noticed the overall increase of my energy, during my first treatment following the class.   During my second treatment following the class, he was able to physically release some Qi affecting my right hip*.  I could feel the energetic connections between my right hip, left side of neck, all of lateral most aspect of my back and down to my left ankle.  It felt as if Curt was twisting my whole body around my mid-line core, actually he was supporting my head as it turned slowly like a stretch to the left.

*There is a lot of ‘trauma’ stored in the area of my right hip.  Physically my gait is lopsided and painful.  It has seemed resistant to change but now I see it’s slowly changing.

I’ve also noticed myself just being more accepting, comfortable and less anxious  being me.  I’ve been thinking and processing about being OK to be me.  Accepting that I’m in different place of being than most individuals that I come in contact with here locally.  My life has been different AND it was ‘designed’ to be different from the beginning.  It’s beyond the influence of my early childhood trauma.  It’s like the trauma is just some layers of influence.

I’ve successfully removed white sugar from my eating lifestyle and thus I am needing less Xylitol to maintain a lower saliva acidity.  I’ve fired up my slow cooker making a couple of one-pot meals that were tasty and more adequately nutritious.  The Sleep With Me podcast has increased the number of nights that I actually sleep.  I am still unwilling to force myself into the potential terror of sleep.  But when I am able to listen to the podcast,  I usually sleep.

My Daily Energy

2 years ago, I woke up without the energy to move myself physically out of my bed.  I did not work for 6 weeks and was wheelchair-bound while a multitude of medical tests were done. All results negative except for one blood test, Anti-Nuclear Antibody (ANA) which suggests the potential for an Auto-Immune Disorder. Negative results are 0-10, positive results are 15-40 and my result was 640. My internal organs (brain, heart, lungs, liver, kidney, pancreas) are healthy. I generally do not have any physical pain, just low energy.

I live alone. My food preparation is limited to anything that does not require standing for more than a few minutes. I take sponge baths instead of showering. I use a motorized cart in the grocery store. Outside of work and home, I use a front-wheeled walker. I work 3 days per week, with 1 day between each work day for resting and knitting.

Knitting is therapeutic because it engages both brain hemispheres and is calming to us. Psychotherapy ended in 2014, after 12 years of intense work. I am co-conscious except when I am not. I have been co-conscious for 5 or 6 years now. I have one close friend. My immediate biological family is not supportive. The totality of who I am is unknown to most who interact with me.

I experience much anxiety when I need to interact with the world outside of me in any way. It is difficult to take out the trash or to go to the laundromat or text my landlord or return phone calls and many times it just doesn’t happen. I am fully aware that how I live day-to-day is outside the ‘norm’ and is upsetting to many. I know I am better when I am not spending the majority of my time alone but I do not know how I can facilitate and find safe people.  I make a decent friend. I have a great laugh and enjoy laughing. I am loyal, generally positive and accepting of others.