Dissociating or Understanding Front and Back Stages and Golden Threads
Our T, psychotherapist, explained dissociation to my numerous children parts as similar to a live theater stage. Whomever is on front stage is who external others see and interact with. Whomever is on back stage or back back stage is not seen. And there also can be others not on stage at all but connected to the physical body via golden energetic threads. The staging analogy really works for us especially with being co-consciousness most of the time.
Our Internal Organization
When connected by golden threads, the various parts are usually in their safe places and have no to limited awareness of the Stage. Our organizational structure is Tree. Internally, there is a landscape of Tree, Creek and an Empty House. Safe places are next to the Creek, in little caves in the Creek’s banks and all around Tree, some swings, some cradles, pillows leaning against the tree, some hidden amongst the branches and leaves, some in the trunk.
Current List of Parts and Relationships
Becky = biological being
Tree & Creek = organization of all parts
Observer-Recorder = observes, records and communicates with all
Highly Functioning (HF) = is the adult who has professional practice, went to graduate school and is otherwise the individual most people know
The Kids (TK) = large group of children from newborn to 10 years old. Now includes Lost Kids, Newborn and Infant. This group had held all sexual abuse memories, images, sensations, tastes, smells, emotions. Most have been processed and no longer have traumatic charge. Unprocessed traumatically charged memories belong to various newborn parts. Becky has strong identification with The Kids.
Tommy = courageous boy with much bravado, about 8 years old
Maggie = teenager that often babysits younger parts of The Kids; brings the smell of fresh-cut flowers when she’s on Front Stage
Red-Black = uses self-harm to change Becky’s biochemistry creating better feelings; primarily by cutting fingernails and toenails too short; skin picking; overindulging on sweets; knows can use rubber band or ice on skin instead
Critic = very protective and uses criticism to protect Becky
Shadow = holds Front Stage when everyone else are unavailable
Marilyn = promiscuous adult that holds confusion about sexual identity
and a few others