Today’s Anxiety

Yesterday I knew something was ‘going on’ because I needed to knit. It was only when I focused on knitting for hours that I could touch a place of calmness. Sleep was inaccessible. I had a restless nap from 4am to 8:30am this morning, while listening to some didgeridoo music.

Note: I generally do NOT listen to music. It takes more energy to process than what I generally have available. I love music. It was an important part of saving our lives during childhood. We learned composing, music notation of audio listening, reading and playing piano music at 4 years old. Our only emoting was through composing and playing the piano. We taught ourselves classic guitar, flute, recorder and oboe.

Today as I was getting dressed, I felt that my blood sugar had ‘tanked’ (see below) and breakfast wasn’t going to be possible until later at work. But I was surprised by my level of angst. I love my work.

This was major fear. So we had internal conversation about accessing what’s up and who is willing to speak or speak through Observer or Writer. General consensus is that Becky has allowed the work schedule to get too full and the weekends aren’t long enough to recuperate.  And by-the-way Becky knew about the weekends but hadn’t done anything about it. Observer noted that there’s more ‘going on’ but no one felt comfortable with the short time we had, before leaving for work to say anything more.

Becky acknowledged that she let today’s schedule run her and that is a mistake to be rectified for the future. So Becky has promised to look at the work schedule and not schedule a day as long as today (1st appointment at 10:30am and last at 5pm). And find a longer weekend that can be created soon.

 “Why are the symptoms of anxiety, anger, and hypoglycemia so similar?  The symptoms are similar because they are caused by the same hormones. These hormones are the fight-or-flight hormones — called adrenaline. Anger is the fight and anxiety is the flight. When adrenaline is preparing the mind and body to fight or flee, it increases heart rate, respiratory rate, blood flow to skeletal muscles, blood glucose decreases digestion, and stimulates the amygdala, the part of the brain that prepares for a quick response, to be ready for fight or flight.

The brain’s primary fuel is glucose. When your blood sugar (glucose) becomes low, your brain becomes concerned. In order to continue to function well, your brain will tell your kidneys to release adrenaline in order to increase blood glucose. Although your brain now has some fuel, the amygdala has been stimulated by adrenaline. This can cause your concerns or irritations to become amplified.”

from Kristen Allott, ND, LAc, http://www.dynamicpaths.com

 

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didhsp

A highly functioning, highly sensitive person with DID and CPTSD from early childhood sexual and physical abuse. I am self-employed and a knitter.

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